Forgiveness

Sometimes items for my journal are easily decided, other times they are forced upon me by people, places or situations. Today’s topic just came by my love for reading; it was the last item I read before bed last night and the first topic on my way home, in different medias. BTW I know this topic is for myself as well as a few people who are dear to me. So go ahead and “give the gift of non-retaliation, and in that gift you, yourself, receive healing.”

Forgiveness Is Unfair
By Philip Yancey
At its core, forgiveness remains unfair. There is something unjust about a person’s dastardly deeds going unpunished.
Such thoughts nagged at me until one day I came across an admonition from Paul tucked away in Romans 12. Hate evil, be joyful, live in harmony, do not be conceited… Then this verse: “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (v. 19)
Finally I understood: In the final analysis, I am simply trusting that God is a better justice maker than I am. By forgiving, I leave issues of fairness for God to work out. I defer to him the scales of justice.
Wrong does not disappear when I forgive. But it loses its grip on me, and is taken over by God. He knows what to do.

Learning to Forgive
By Lori Erickson
So what can we do when we’re seething with resentment against a domineering spouse or faithless spouse? Firstly realize that forgiveness takes time. For deep hurts, we may need to forgive over and over again. It may feel forced, but as time passes it will become deeper and long lasting. Here are some tips to help you get to a place where genuine forgiveness is possible:
Practice Gratitude. Instead of focusing on how you’ve been wronged, keep reminding yourself of all that you have to be thankful for. Throughout each day, look for reasons to be grateful, from the food on your table to the air that fill your lungs.
Teach your body to relax. Learn a stress-management practice that you can call on when negative thoughts flood your mind or you are hurt by someone’s actions. The key is to calm your emotions and disengage the body’s response to stress
Acknowledge your own faults. It’s a rear person indeed who has never hurt someone else. Don’t judge other people more harshly than you judge yourself.
Rewrite your story. Stop thinking of yourself as a victim. A woman whose husband left her, for example, shouldn’t think of herself as abandoned, but focus on the ways she is courageously creating a new life.
Seek understanding. Think of the one who hurt you as a good person who did something bad, not as a bad person. “Try to see the worth of the person and view them with empathy and compassion,” says Enright.

Relationship Builders
· Why is it hard not to “get back” at your significant other in small ways when her or she has hurt you?
· How can you trust God to handle the situation when others wrong you?